Monthly Archives: November 2011


tristany (verb): To pee on a small turtle without mercy

Now, we’ve all peed on turtles before. I mean, come on. And the little ones are the most satisfying, for sure. But with mercy, right?

So if you’ve tristanyed (one of those rare verbs that doesn’t become ied), tell us why.

After all, what kind of monster wouldn’t have sympathy for that little guy?

And yet it happens more than we’d like to think.

So many traumatized little turtles…

Warm, wet, and sad…

Tell us about your tristanic experiences (also an adjective). Send to your friends. Sign up for email updates. And be sure to check out the video below!

How to Play

Welcome, fellow wordsmiths!

It’s time to learn how to play Balderdash the real way.

Ever got bored playing Balderdash and yearned for a little more excitement? Thought a word or movie title could be funny if you just didn’t have to make it sound convincing? Wanted to slip in a dirty joke to embarrass your brother’s girlfriend? Always wanted to say “boob infested” but just couldn’t find the right social situation? Then this is the balderdash version for you.
Things You’ll Need:
    * three or more friends (or cardboard cutout of real friends)
    * Balderdash (or a dictionary)
    * pens and paper (probably should buy these)
    * a functioning brain w/imagination (see wikipedia)

Step 1
Pick movers, though you won’t need necessarily them. Funny figurines from your childhood, pieces of candy, belly button lint–thingingfrog believes anything can make a good mover.
Step 2
Draw cards as you normally would, but when the time comes to make a definition (or if you’re playing Beyond Balderdash, a movie plot), make something up. Use your imagination. For those of you who were born after 1989, see wikipedia for more information on your imagination and all it can do for you.
Step 3
      For example, using Classic Balderdash:
      skagbolite: a mythological creature, part imp, part cheesecake
      doromania: fear of using doors as entrances or exits
(Just a note. I had doromania once, but luckily I was in a wide-open, flower-willed pasture. What an enchanting day! Sigh…)
Step 4
      Or for Beyond Balderdash, which has movie plots:
      Talk to Me: German guards interrogate 17 mimes to death
(This was a surprisingly inspiring movie–that only one mime screamed was particularly impressive. A lesson to us all)
Step 5
      The funniest definition of the round earns three moves and “props.”

If you’ve got a good submission, leave a comment at the submissions page. That probably was self-evident, but, you know. Enjoy!