Category Archives: Movie

Beginning of the End

Beginning of the End (movie):

Chucky Chipmunk’s unbridled passion leads a piece of brie to its doom.

The first movie to base its plot around chensoing, this 1997 horror classic was released straight to BETA, which had become obsolete many years before. When it was unearthed in Mel Gibson’s friend Tony’s basement by a screenwriter who wanted to believe that Mr. Gibson was secretly holding onto his script about a Volcano who experiences unrequitable love with a creater made of Vinegar and Baking Soda named Wilfred (poorly titled “Erupt me now . . . Wilfred’s Journey”).

Set in the days of Mad Max, this animated horror film involved Chucky “Chuckster” Chipmunk just after a horrible break-up. Chucky decides to take his life, but his stopped when he realizes he has an auto-erotic asphyixation affectation. Horny, alone, and for no reason at all living in a fantasy world of Mel Gibson kicking ass with a cool car-helicopter, Chucky spies a pieces of brie hanging out with his homies and . . well, the rest is unmentionable. BUT–I’ll mention it anyway. He basically does a piece of brie so hard that the rind starts to cry. But no one listens.

Go buy a BETA machine now.

The Time of the Year


A relationship between Diana, a compulsive liar, and Tom, a compulsive believer, somehow works out.
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After a rocky start, when Diana said, “meet me at 9am at Starbucks,” and Tom showed up, and Diana didn’t.

Then Diana said, “No, I meant meet me at the corner of Main Street and 1st at 11am,” and Tom showed up, and Diana didn’t.

And then Tom said, “Come over to my place tonight,” and Diana replied “I’ll be there!” but she wasn’t.

The two finally connected at a slam poetry reading. Diana had told Tom she’d meet him at the NJ Nets game, but then Tom decided to not show up and instead went to Uncommonly Ground Coffee Shop, signing up to read his latest work: “I believe in you.”

Meanwhile, Diana, who had agreed to go on a date with Freddy (she didn’t go), went instead to her usual hang-out coffee shop, arriving just in time to hear Tom reading his work. After a tumultuous one-night stand, Diana said “I’m leaving.”

She stayed.

Farci

A hit ABC sitcom of the 70s about a detective with Alzheimer’s who is trying to track down . . . Himself?


Disgraced police chief turned detective Sidney Tatum was at the end of his rope. His ex-wife had just won custody. His bank was foreclosing on his home. And he had been diagnosed with some crazy cancer. Then he received a call from “Mr. X,” claiming that he had delivered the evidence that got Tatum fired and, worse still, “Mr. X” had slept with Tatum’s wife. The manhunt of all manhunts was about to begin.

But how does a man track down himself?